Fears and Dreams

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With every dream you have there are fears. Fears that you won’t accomplish said dream or that people wouldn’t like you so you won’t get the job or make the team. If the fears are really big they can halt your dreams right in their path.

I’ve had and still have many dreams in my life. You can never stop dreaming and making goals for yourself. Hell, I’m only in college the time of dreamed careers and lives!  One of the many dreams I currently have for myself is to join a sorority.

Back in March I talked about it on the blog and then said nothing about it again. If you were wondering where I stand on the situation I am here to tell you. I’m not only here to give you an update but to also talk about all of the fears that surround this life changing decision. 

I’m sure you have guessed by now that I am still going to join a sorority. When I made my mind up in March I knew it wasn’t going to change. If I tell you I am going to do something than I’m doing it. There was a moment in the middle of the summer when I thought about not going through with the whole sorority thing but that was just because fear tried to take over. I don’t remember the exact fear I had but I can tell you the fears I have leading up to the start of recruitment on Sunday.

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Talking to new people

I’m not a huge social butterfly. Yes I have gotten better but when it comes to large groups I panic. Little words leave my mouth and I try to stay to myself. The whole process to joining a sorority involves talking to new people and getting to know them. In the past few weeks I have been put in situations where I can choice to be outgoing and talk to people but internally freak out and stay quiet.

Letting people down

I have friends in the 3 sororities that are at my college. Only 2 of the sororities are doing fall recruitment because of unspoken reasons.  Both of my best friends are in the two sororities I am looking at and I also know a ton of people in both. I know that someone is going to be disappointed in the end because you can’t be in two sororities! They tell me al the time to pick the sorority that I feel like I belong. My best friend has told me she will still stay my best friend no matter where I end up and love me just the same. Even with all that I am still afraid and not looking forward to disappointing someone or in this case a bunch of people.

Not getting in.

There is no guarantee that I will get into a sorority or the sorority I want. I’m afraid that they won’t like me or I will do something wrong. In the past I have wanted things as much I’ve went a sorority and haven’t gotten them. I am walking into this whole thing with zero expectations and have no hopes up. 

Getting in because of the people I know.

I want to get in because of me and not the people I know. I want them to like me for who I am and pick me for those reasons. Like I said I know a lot of people in the sororities already and I have best friends in them and my biggest fear is they will just accepted me because of those girls. It is nice knowing people already and I'm not complaining. 

This whole experience is going to push me outside my comfort zone. I will have to do things I normally wouldn't. This week leading up to recruitment is going to be hard and stressful and it will fill me with fears but I won't let them stop me. I want to join a sorority more than anything and that is why I will overcome and change who I am. 

xoxo,

Lauren