Surviving The Holiday Season Without A Loved One

My grandma, mom, aunts, and uncles on Christmas a few years ago

Like I've said in a previous post, this is the first Christmas without my grandmother. She passed away 8 and a half months ago in April. Its been hard ever since and even harder in the last fews weeks. To be honestly I would be completely ok with skipping the how holiday and just having the time off. I can feel the difference in the house and have noticed that everything is really delayed with Christmas. We took a while to put up our tree (not like us), and no one really wanted to prepare for it.

Every single Christmas Day my grandma would come to my house and we would open present and see her. It was the one day of the year, no matter what, that I got to see her. I couldn't tell you a year that she wasn't here. Except for this year. 

I am dreading it more than anything in the whole world. If I get through the day in one piece it will be a miracle. I know I will be subconsciously waiting for her to come the whole day. I can already feel it. One of my ways of coping is to not believe she is really gone and keep assuming she will be at family parties and I can just call her. 

The good news is I am not the only person to have to go through the holidays without a loved one. More than just my family is suffering this season. Since this is my first year without a loved one I am not an except on how to deal but I have learned a few things I want to share. 

Me and some of my cousins 

1. Spend a lot of time with family. 

They are most likely experiencing the same thing as you. Everyone is feeling the same upset as you. One of the amazing things is they will cry with you and than cheer you up when you're done crying. Don't try to be alone because it will only make things worse. Your family can distracted you and help you so much,. 

2. Cry and let it out. 

You have to cry and let it all out at least once during the season. Its ok to cry and its ok to be sad. Just don't stay sad too long. It will be bad for you! And if you have to cry more than once no one will judge you. 

3. Find ways to remember/honor them. 

Maybe make an ornament or a picture. One thing that I loved my family did at our annual Christmas sing-along was a tree that had the ornaments with names of people that have passed and won't be there this Christmas. I loved that idea. It would look cute one a little tree. 

4.  Write about your feelings. 

I am a true believer that writing, whether in a journal or not, helps so much dealing with your feelings. Just write and write and let it all out. I'll probably end up doing that sometime soon. Another writing idea is to maybe write a the person even though they won't be able to get it. 

5. Remember that they would want you to be happy. 

I know everyone says that but its the truth. My grandmother would want me to be happy and enjoy the Christmas season. I'll try my best to be happy for her. 

I hope everyone will is missing a loved one this season gets through in one piece. Know you are not alone.

xoxo,

Lauren